"Attitude Reflects Leadership, Captain"

The title of this post is from my favorite movie of all time, Remember the Titans. I remember coming home from school everyday in middle school and watching this movie on VHS. I had the entire movie memorized.

Anyways, I wanted to post this interview that Bryant University Athletics Department did with me last week on what I have been up to the last few years at college. Check it out and stay motivated.

Choices, Character, and Integrity

"The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts… The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny…it is the light that guides your way.” – Heraclitus 504 BC

For the last month or two, every single time I stop to think about what I’m doing, who I am, and what I’ve become as a person, I can’t help but be proud of where I am. I am a senior in college at Bryant University, a place that my parents forced me to visit and therefore miss football practice on Columbus Day of my senior year in high school. I didn’t want to check the school out, but I did, and now, four years later, all I have is six months and I’ll be graduating from Bryant. 

I couldn’t be any happier with my decision to come to Bryant, to become a member of the Division I Varsity swim team. I wasn’t recruited to the team, but I was told by Head Coach Katie Cameron that there were spots for swimmers with previous experience for anyone that was willing to work hard. 

I jumped at the opportunity, and now I am enjoying my last season as a Bulldog as a senior Captain. And it wasn’t because I miraculously became an incredible swimmer over-night; as a matter of fact, I am still one of the slowest guys on the team for the fourth straight year. But I took what Coach Cameron told me as a senior in high school, that there are spots for anyone who is willing to work hard, and I did the work. I worked hard every single day, and now I am trying to get the freshmen to do the same thing.

As a senior, it is weird to see these freshmen on the team go through the same things I was going through just three years ago because it feels like it was last week. Falling asleep in class after the first few weeks with morning practices, having to go to required Study Hall for a certain amount of hours every week, dealing with the different way classes and exams work. But I realized, that is part of college, and the only way to really learn how it works is to go through it, make your mistakes, and eventually learn and get better at everything. They don’t completely understand that you don’t have to drink every single weekend just because you’re in college. They don’t realize you don’t have to stay up and hang out with your roommates until midnight every night because you’ll miss out on the social opportunities. They don’t realize how much time they waste on Facebook every single day…

But as a freshmen, I didn’t realize that either. So instead of trying to help them avoid the mistakes I made, I’ve decided it’s the rights of passage, and hopefully they’ll learn from them too. It is part of growing up.

One thing, however, that I am completely serious about when it comes to the freshmen swimmers on Bryant swimming, is what Coach Cameron allowed me to use to get a spot on a Division I Athletic program – work ethic. Some people see the Captain of a team as the best swimmer, or the most talented, or the coach’s pet. But for me, I could care less about all of that. All I care about is that every single person pushes themselves to get better every single day. It is a long and exhausting season, and a tedious sport with countless hours of training and very little opportunities to reap the benefits. 

The quote above signifies my personal belief in terms of choices, character, and integrity. I am trying to bestow among my teammates the same thing, in particular the freshmen. I honestly believe that if you work as hard as you can no matter what you are doing, in the long run, you will always be rewarded. When was the last time you ever regretted doing something difficult to the best of your ability, even if you struggled because it was actually that challenging? The answer, at least for me, is never. 

Your choices create your character, and your character decides your integrity. And like Heraclitus said thousands of years ago, your integrity is your destiny. While I am willing to watch them learn on their own, make mistakes, and experience failure to some extent when it comes to the process of being a college athlete in a challenging school on a successful team. 

Under no circumstances, however, will I let the freshmen, or anyone on the team for that matter, not apply themselves every single day to their fullest ability. In the sport of swimming, there are days when you are exhausted and have nothing left to give. But that doesn’t matter, giving all that you can, even if it is close to nothing, is what decides your integrity.

And your integrity is not only in the pool or the weight room; your integrity is who you are.It goes with you your entire life. If you are lazy in swimming, you'll be lazy in life. If you give everything you have everyday in swimming, you'll give everything had in the real world - to your job, to your family, and to all of your endeavors. And therefore, you'll reap the benefits of doing so, and you will have a good life.

I take great pride in being one of the two Captains for the Bryant University Men’s Swim Team, and I firmly intend to enforce my personal feelings of work ethic onto the rest of the program. The only limits that exist on us at students, athletes, and friends, are those that are self-imposed. Our integrity is what decides those limits, nothing else. 

So for the rest of my career on the Bryant Swim Team, for the rest of my time at Bryant, for the rest of my life, I plan on shaping my choices to reflect my character, my integrity, and most importantly, my destiny. And I urge you to do the same.

Fun? What does that even mean?

I am 21 years old, in the summer between my junior and senior year in college at Bryant University in Rhode Island, and am in my third year of racing triathlons. I'm 21 now and I started when I was 19. In my first year, I got better each race I did, and by the end of that year I was a triathlon fanatic and in the best shape of my life. All through high school I was a conventional multi-sport athlete - Varsity Football, Swimming, and Baseball. The most I ran without stopping was about 100 yards, and although I was a strong swimmer, I hadn't rode a bike since a bad crash when I was in 5th grade. But I got better each race I did as a noob, and had tri-fever. I considered quitting college swimming at Bryant to focus on biking and running full time as well, but with the harsh New England winter I thought it wouldn't really be worth it.

After Timberman 70.3 2010 - 4:53.30

So the summer after my sophomore year, I was back swimming, biking, and running again, and I was still getting even better. A local legend here in Connecticut, Chris Thomas, probably the best amateur triathlete in the U.S., says you learn something new in every race. I kept getting faster, and went from doing pretty well in my age group in sprint races to Olympic Distance Tri's and enjoyed them more because of the longer swim. Then I did Timberman 70.3 at the end of the summer and broke 5 hours in my first half-ironman at 4:53. I was pretty thrilled for doing that in only my 2nd year of doing triathlons, being my own coach, and only bike and run training for about 7 months of the year.

Starting out on the run, don't usually hang too long.

So then I decided I should get a coach, have structured consistent training, and keep getting faster and fitter like I did for my first two years. That was the plan, and I followed the plan from February to now, four and a half months later to June. I was committed to the plan and worked very hard at hitting every workout and made many sacrifices during the school year to do so. Didn't have much of a social life, didn't get much sleep, and didn't take my school work too seriously. I was training all the time, doing Army ROTC Training, going to off-season swim practice, and working on starting the Bryant Triathlon Club. My grades suffered the most, unfortunately. I had a good showing at the Providence Half-Marathon on May 1st with a time of 1:32, 15 minutes off from the half marathon I ran for the last leg at Timberman 70.3. But since then, unfortunately, I haven't been as successful in my races.

I've done a couple races in May and June, and haven't been happy at all with the results. I can't seem to put together a strong swim, bike, and run in the same race. I don't think it has to do with me getting coached, or not putting in the consistent training, because the potential is obviously there. But in the Rev3 Quassy Half-Ironman I caught some terrible luck and got a front flat tire going down the last big hill on mile 47 of the bike. I was 2 hours and 15 minutes in, going 30 MPH around the corner after going by the bottom of the hill, when I realized I couldn't control the bike anymore, and boom, I slid across the corner of the road on my side into some guy's front yard. Fourty-seven down, and only nine miles to go!!!! I would have kept going, knowing that I never wanted to be a DNF unless I could no longer move. But I put the spare in, and the valve was bent from the fall and I couldn't get it to inflate. I waited on the corner of that road for at least 45 minutes, hoping a support vehicle would come and I would salvage my pride and finish the race, although I would still be nowhere near the PR that I think I would have gotten. Finally an 80 year old local pulled up in a 1984 Ford Pick-Up and drove me the remaining 9 miles to Quassy where I reluctantly turned in my chip and was a DNF for the first and last time in my life. I went out on the run course and ran 4 or 5 miles with my buddy Tim Steiskal and I was feeling great, which only added to my disappointment.

A Twitpic by my boy Zach Bowen from heading out onto the bike onto Rev3. Unfortunately, I never made it back on the bike...

So that was fine, fast forward two weeks and I was racing my favorite race, Pat Griskus Olympic Triathlon out at Quassy once again, the New England Regional Championship. I had the 2nd fastest swim and T1 in the race, get out on the bike, am ready to let it rip and make-up for lost time for the Rev when I get to a sharp S turn 3 miles in, and I nearly wipe out taking a turn down the hill. I couldn't believe it. I was scared out of my mind going for a turn on the downhills, and every time I went above 30 MPH I would get speed wobbles and think I was going down. I was having some awful thoughts about crashing again, and I no longer wanted to go fast. I knew my brother and Tim Steiskal were up ahead of me smashing the bike, and I no longer cared about being up there with them. I thought about getting off my bike and walking it back. But instead I just rode as slow as I possibly could down every hill (the exact opposite of what you're supposed to do in a race?). My bike time was 1:11, so I think if I wasn't riding like a girl I could have been at least somewhere down near 1:06, and I would have been in much better shape going onto the run.

But I was trying to be mentally tough and just get ready to have my best run of the year after going easy on the bike because I've been running slow as hell in races. So I came off the bike with this guy Colin who is same age as me, also does ROTC, and always seems to beat me. I tried to tell myself this was when I'd finally beat him, in my back yard at Quassy, and we ran stride for stride for around a mile. I really thought I would just stay right with him until he got too tired and then I'd pull away on the 2nd lap of the run. Well that plan went wrong pretty quick when he dropped me and I couldn't go with him. I bonked and Colin turned in a strong run of 40 minutes, exactly what I was hoping to do. Pretty frustrating after riding so easily and hoping to hammer the run, but instead I added 4 minutes to my run of last year in the same race when I biked even harder.

So I am signed up for Cohasset Sprint Tri, a race in Massachusetts, exactly a week after Griskus. After the race, I told my dad I wasn't going to do the race, I hate biking, and I want to retire. I was pretty disappointed in myself. Then Joe Maloy, a professional triathlete that used to swim at Boston College and is chasing the Olympic Dream, sent me a tweet that said, "  @Idoit4theGLORY: Keep your head up bro. Keep it in perspective and focus on having fun."   I thought yeah, yeah, that is a good point but it is only fun when you're winning and I am far from winning. How can losing be fun?

So now, just a couple days later, I decided to try to take my (not-so) trustworthy Specialized Tarmac out for a ride, and went on a group ride with the local Waterbury Tri Club. They were going for a 31 mile loop out around Quassy, on some of the roads that both the Rev and Griskus were on. I had never done a ride with them and it started out pedistrian pace, no one was tried to break away, they were just riding along on the longest day of the year, enjoy each other's company and training on some good hills. Towards the end of the ride, we went down the same hill that I flatted and crashed on in the Rev, and as we went by the same spot where I was laying on the ground, I thought about how much more fun I was having on this bike ride than any other I'd had in a long time. I didn't care that we weren't averaging 22 MPH for 2 hours, or that we had to stop 4 or 5 times to let other people in the group catch up. I was just having a good time, I was having fun again.

On the left - before triathlons

On the left - after Triathlons

So I no longer want to sell my bike, or never do a triathlon again. I just want to do what Joe Maloy said - keep it in perspective and have fun. That is what I did when I first started doing tri's, a way to get in shape for swim season. I lost 40 lbs from when I was a senior in high school to when I did my first tri. I didn't care that I wasn't the fastest guy out there, although I wanted to be, I just enjoyed having fun and going 4 the glory. The pressure I put on myself this year, I think, is what has been making me lose sight of this. I think having a coach that has wanted me to truly succeed has made me train harder and differently that I had in the fast, made me take it a little too seriously and apply too much pressure to myself. Because I had bad luck and had a poor race, I should quit? That is ridiculous. I realized on the Waterbury Tri Club group ride that I was having fun, and from now on that is all I want to do when it comes to triathlon - have fun.

Brendan

Getting Comfortable being Uncomfortable

As a freshman in college, I was a young individual with no idea about what my future had in store. At first, I loved Bryant University – the freedom, no rules, the ability to create a new identity. That freedom ran out real quick though, and after a few months I missed my home, my family, and my friends. I was pretty homesick, but I got through it. I worked hard and got through the year the best I could, in both my academics and athletics. It was quite the challenge, not really what I expected but it was my first time away from home and out of Naugatuck were life seemed so simple and un-challenging.

                

Once I became accustomed to my first year of college, I went home for the summer and took on the challenge of triathlons. I was instantly hooked after my first one, and I have no one to thank but my family for getting me to try out the multi-sport lifestyle,. Much to their dismay, I am now a triathlon fanatic and my parents are a little concerned about that, but I have a strong passion for the sport. I think it has opened up doors for me that I didn’t know existed. I am more healthy now, more active, more confident, and feel that I can honestly do anything that I commit to and work for. That is when I decided I wanted to do more with my life, and I took on the challenge of enrolling into the Army ROTC Program. I realized that becoming an Army Officer is one of the most respected professions in this country, and I had a sense of confidence in myself that I can make a great Officer.

                 

At first, I hated the program. I was so lost, and had no idea what was going on. I was timid, and didn’t feel like I had that sense of confidence that I thought I did. I went away for four weeks after my sophomore year to Fort Knox to catch up on everything that I missed in the ROTC program from my freshmen year, and I hated that all over again. I was homesick, away from my home town, family, and friends in the middle of the summer! It was brutally hot and mentally challenging because all I wanted to do was be hanging out with my family relaxing and doing triathlon. Yet I was up at 4 in the morning everyday only to get yelled at to hurry up and wait. I decided in Fort Knox that when I completed the Leadership Training Camp that I was going to give up ROTC but be proud of my accomplishments so far in the program. I didn’t want to live the Army lifestyle that I was exposed to at Fort Knox, and didn’t want to put myself through that for four years if I wasn’t going to enjoy it.

                 

Then I got back to school however, and was offered a two year scholarship for ROTC and a chance to join the Army National Guard. In the National Guard, you serve one weekend a month and get deployed for about 12 months every three or four years. The contract would be for 6 years. So for two year long deployments and one weekend a month, I realized I can maintain a civilian job as well as be able to lead Soldiers on a part time basis. I decided, although I hated Fort Knox, it made me a stronger person, and I am thankful for that experience. Sometimes you are forced into sitatuions that make you feel uncomfortable, but that’s life. I have come to the conclusion that in life, as well as triathlons and sports and anything else, the challenge is to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. That is what leaders do, and that is why I accepted the ROTC scholarship.

                

Now as my junior year is coming to a close, I am preparing for another four weeks at a training camp called LDAC in Fort Lewis, Washington this summer. I know how much it is probably going to suck, but all this year I have been put through some pretty rigorous training with ROTC to prepare for it. With many  04:30 mornings throughout this year, I have managed to do that while being voted the swim team Captain for next year, and somewhat maintain my academics and GPA. My social life has taken a pretty big hit, it is almost irrelevant at the moment, but sometimes when you have things to accomplish you have to decide to take the easy way out or do things that are hard. I’ve done the hard things, and am feeling very confident in myself in terms of Army training. I think I will do very well this summer at LDAC, and maybe even enjoy it? Yeah, it is hard to imagine that based on how much I hated LTC at Fort Knox, but I have started to become pretty comfortable with the uncomfortable.

                 

With all of this ROTC training, managing my school work and being a member of a Division I swim team, I have developed a complete transformation of a person. I feel much more mature, confident, and overall a much better person than I was three years ago when I graduated high school. I wouldn’t have been able to feel this type of personal development without such a strong supporting cast. My family has been there for me throughout the hard times, when I hated life and was miserable when I first started college swimming, when I was extremely confused and dismayed when I first started ROTC, and when I was completely miserable out at Fort Knox. They were there for me when I was a mess, and without them I wouldn’t have been able to become comfortable at being uncomfortable. They’ve seen me at my worst, and now because of that I feel like I am at my best. I am so thankful for everything that they do for me every day, and sometimes I don’t thank them enough. But inside, I know that I owe them everything. I’d be nothing without them.

               

From here on out, I hope to continue this trend of taking on challenges and overcoming then, no matter how hard they are and how uncomfortable they make me feel. I just want to keep becoming a stronger person in every aspect of life. I am so thankful for everything that has happened to me, and wouldn’t change a thing. Life is good, that is for sure, so say thanks every day, and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Back in Business

I can probably say it has been a "minute" since my last post, but that is a bit of an understatement. I haven't put one up since April of 2010, a mere 10 months ago. I've had alot of stuff happen to me since then, so I'll fill you in on a few of the key events of the last ten months.

After getting smoked in April at Collegiate Nationals in Texas, things were really put into perspective. I was a wanna-be triathlete in a world full of fast swimmers, bikers, and especially runners. So I started training more consistently, got myself back in shape for the summer, and had a few strong races in Olympic Distance Tri's. Then I went away for four weeks to an Army ROTC training camp in Fort Knox, Kentucky. At one point after hurting my shoulder in an obstacle course, I wanted to quit the program, fly home, and get back to triathlon training. I hated it. Five hours of sleep per night, meals out of a bomb-proof bag that were packed in the 1990's, and no time for swimming, biking, and running. I guess you can say it was good for heat-acclimation because it was about 100 degrees and 95% humidity every single day. After four long weeks, I completed the training camp and my parents flew down for the graduation. The next day I finally got to go home. Leaving Fort Knox was probably one of the happiest days of my life.

So I was out of the triathlon/regular life scene for all of July, so I had some catching up to do. So I headed out west with my cousin on a 3 day road trip to my Grandpa's house in Colorado and got in some serious high altitude training. I did a Sprint Tri in Aspen (Lance Armstrong was a no show), rode up some monstrous passes, went through some canyons, and did an 18 mile run, the longest of my life. I flew back home and then the next week I raced in my first half-ironman - Timberman 70.3 in New Hampshire.

I had no idea what type of race to expect because I had only been training again for a few week, but once I got going I felt awesome. I cruised the 1.2 mile swim, and just kept it strong for 2 1/2 hours on the bike, most of it all by myself. My goal was anywhere around the 5 1/2 hour range to 5 hours, and I held a pace fast enough to go 4:53 for 277th place out of a couple thousand. I loved every second of it. The legs didn't like the 13.1 mile run at the end, but they held up for me. Must have been the altitude training.

I came back to school at Bryant for my junior year, and picked right back up with swim season and Army ROTC. I have been keeping busy to say the least. Now with swim season in the books and warm weather hopefully approaching, my focus is back on that tri scene. I am racing in the Clermont Draft Legal Challenge in Florida in two weeks at the start of my spring break, and staying down there for a week to get in some warm-weather training/chaying/relaxing. I'll probably get smoked after the swim, so I'm not looking for any big performances out of myself other than to not crash on the bike.

I've got a long season ahead of me, but this is my third year in the sport, and the first time I've received any formal coaching. This is probably the best shape I've been in at this point in the year, so who knows what will happen. The key is staying healthy. See ya at the finish line.